This is the final part of my series on church hurt. In the first three posts, I shared experiences that reshaped how I view community, leadership, and trust within the church. This last post isn’t about the wound — it’s about the healing. It’s about what I’ve learned, what I’ve released, and how God has met me in the middle of it all.

While attending my former church, I was also visiting an online ministry that catered more to creatives. I started attending either in 2019 or 2020. My husband and children were not part of this ministry.

I’ll keep this one short and just say that I gained a lot at this ministry, especially for the creative side of me.

It was great…until it wasn’t.

In the beginning, I felt a sense of belonging that I had never felt before. I was among many people similar to me. We were gifted creatives who didn’t always have an outlet in the local church.

Like I usually do, I served. Here, it was an online ministry. I helped the leader with a dormant project. I also did some video editing. Additionally, I was responsible for Facebook and YouTube posting.

The short of what happened is that someone new came in and the ministry took a different direction. Communication became a problem, and I was left out of certain things. A meeting occurred toward the end of last year (2024). It was announced that more meetings would be held to explain the new direction of the ministry. However, those meetings never took place, or I wasn’t included if they were held.

I left Facebook and Band (what we used to communicate) in January. I kept in contact with the leader via text messages at least through May of this year (2025). I haven’t heard anything from them since. So, I sort of quietly left after not hearing more from them. Could I have handled things differently? Probably. But different handling wouldn’t undo what was done, and I didn’t need more explanations—I needed peace. After three years, I had seen enough to know it was time to step back. At least here, I still keep in contact with a few of the other people I was doing ministry with, which is great.

Moving Forward

Leaving that ministry reminded me again that community can be beautiful—until it suddenly isn’t. So I moved forward with both gratitude and caution.

As a family, we went back to the church we went to before the children were born. We have been there for a year or so now. We were attending together on Sundays while I was also at the creative ministry. Recently, I joined the moms’ group at this church that meets in the fall and winter. I had a great time at my first meeting…but the next day, I caught myself wondering about when they were going to try to turn me into a Stepford Wife. 😂

That’s what can happen when you’ve been hurt by people you thought were safe. You start to question kindness, to second-guess love, to wonder if blessings come with strings attached. But healing, I’m learning, means unlearning the fear that every joy will turn into loss. 

People

I don’t have a formula to prevent church hurt. Honestly, I don’t even have a formula for avoiding hurt from people in general. People do people things. I would consider what I’ve experienced to just be life with people.

I’m not excusing abuse or mistreatment from leaders. What I am saying is that people, even people in ministry, are flawed. I used to expect certain behaviors from leaders simply because of their title. I don’t anymore.

Not out of cynicism, but clarity.

Leaders deserve respect, but they should not be put on a pedestals. Most of them never asked to be there anyway. Their words should never carry more weight than God’s.

The one to please is God.

The one to seek relationship with is God.

The one to serve is God.

When I remember that, people lose the power to shatter my faith.

Hope

Some hope that I can give you today is that God is not the one hurting you.

If anything, He’s inviting you to lean into Him. Trust him as you navigate this world. It is full of imperfect people who sometimes, even unintentionally, hurt others.

His presence is not solely in a church building. Remember that He is with you wherever you go (Psalm 139).

Don’t let church hurt get the last word on your relationship with God. The places and people who hurt you are not the reflection of God’s love.

He has been faithful to me through the hurt, and He is still healing.

If you’ve been hurt, heal. It’s a process worth leaning into.

God is with you every step of the way.

Thank you for reading this series. My prayer is that, wherever you are in your journey with church and with God, you remember this: the flaws of people can’t undo the faithfulness of God. He sees, He heals, and He stays.

If anything in my story resonated with you, I’d love to continue the conversation in a safe and respectful space. I host a small community on Discord. We can share experiences, ask questions, and encourage each other in our faith journeys. You’re welcome to join here:

• Discord